In marriage, communication seems to be one of the biggest challenges. This is one of the points on which it is really necessary to work continuously. Differences between men and women often make communication difficult. And these differences are of several kinds: difference of roles, differences in the way of seeing, perceiving things, differences in how to express them. For example, during a conflict, women generally feel they are not loved by their husbands, while men feel that their wives are disrespectful to them.
Here is an article I recently read about communication in marriage. It was written by Pastor Ron Edmonston. I translated it from English for you. May you find elements that help you better live your daily life with your man! God bless you.
My years of experience in couples counseling has given me insights into the barriers that men and women face when they want to communicate with each other. Not all men are alike, but there are some generalities that may help each woman better understand her man and improve their communication.
1- We wanted to say what we said... not what you heard - it's true 99% of the time. Men are generally more literal, and frankly simple-minded. Our language is not usually coded. Not that women would be ... 🙂 Try to hear that what was said without attaching additional thoughts triggered by emotions. In a conversation, before building assumptions based on what he said, ask him if his statement has a deeper meaning. Most likely he meant ... nothing more ... than what was said. (I can not tell you how many classic examples of marriage problems I've seen develop with this simple aspect of communication.)
2 - We do not often like to give details - Saying where we went, who we eventually talked to and who we had lunch with is usually enough for us. We do not always like to go into details beyond mere facts. I understand that you may need / deserve more information, especially when a man has risen unworthy of your trust but know that it is something that most of us do painfully. Aside from trust issues, the less you ask for details the more we will be inclined to share facts, and from time to time details.
3 - Our range of emotions is limited - Most men do not feel things as deeply as women. We are not indifferent. It's just that we feel things differently. For this reason, men tend to communicate more factually and emotionally.
4 - When you cry easily, we may tend to get angry.There is no excuse for abusing anger and no abuse, whatever it is, should be tolerated. But anger in itself is not a sin. The Bible says indeed, " If you get angry, do not sin ". Know that the things that push a woman to cry, often cause anger in the man. The pious man, however, learns to handle this anger responsibly. You will help your man if you understand that this type of emotion can be normal and help him to channel his response to this type of emotion. My wife, Cheryl, is helping me in this area all the time.
5 - Sometimes we have trouble communicating what is on our heart... we often do not do it. This is sad. Some are aware of not doing it enough. But be aware that the more we feel respected by our wives whatever the situation or emotions we display, the more our true emotions are reflected.
The purpose of this article is not to provide an apology to men but to help each woman better communicate with her husband.
What do you think? Have you identified any other issues not mentioned here that help you communicate better in your home?