Many single Christian women are wondering today about the choice of the future spouse. Find out in the following a list of men that you'd better never choose for spouse. We could still call this text this way: 10 behaviors that Christian men should not have ... What do you think?
My wife and I raised four girls and three of them are already married. We love our sons-in-law and it is obvious that God has selected each of them according to the temperament and personality of our daughters. I have always believed that God is able to associate complementary people. If He could do it for my daughters, He can do it for you too.
Today, I have several single friends who would very much like to find the right partner. For example, some people have told me that because picking is thin in their church, they have ventured into the world of online dating. Others raised their hands in despair, wondering if there are still serious Christian men in this world. They began to wonder if they should lower their standards to find a partner.
Here is the advice I maintain: Do not settle for less than the best of God. Too many Christian women today have ended up with a Ishmael a bad partner. Impatience led them into an unhappy marriage. Receive my paternal advice: It is better for you to be alone than poorly accompanied!
Speaking of "bad partner", here are the top 10 men you should avoid in finding your future spouse:
1. The unbeliever
Write 2 Corinthians 6:14 on a Post-it and put it on your computer at work. This verse says: "Do not put yourself with the infidels under a foreign yoke. Because what is the relationship between justice and inequity? or what is there in common between light and darkness?"(King James Version). It is not an obsolete religious rule, outdated. It's the Word of God for you today. Do not let a man's charm or financial success (or willingness to go to church with you) push you to compromise what you just know. "Missionary attendance" (that which one undertakes hoping to lead the person to salvation) is not a judicious strategy. If the guy is not a born-again Christian, cross it off your list. It is not good for you. I have not yet met a Christian woman who does not regret having married a non-believer.
2. The liar
If you discover that the man you are dating has lied to his past or is hiding some aspects of his life to prevent you from knowing his secrets, run to the nearest exit. Marriage must be built on the basis of trust. If it can not be true, put an end to this relationship now, before you become a victim of greater disappointment.
3. The playboy
I wish I could say that if you meet a nice man in church, you can assume that he lives in sexual purity. But this is not always the case today. I have heard horrible stories about singles who serve in the worship team on Sunday at church, but drive like Casanova in the week. If you are getting married to a man who has sex here, before your wedding, you can be sure that he will continue to do so after your wedding.
4. The bad payer
There are many strong Christian men who experienced marital failure a few years ago. Since their divorce, they have been restored by the Holy Spirit, and now they want to remarry. The second marriage can be very happy. But if you find out that the man you are dating did not take care of his children from a previous marriage, then you just exposed a major flaw. Anyone who does not want to pay for past mistakes or support children from a previous marriage will not treat you responsibly.
5. The addict
Men who go to church and have an addiction to alcohol or drugs have learned to hide their problems. It would be tragic for you to learn at the time of your honeymoon that the man you married is an inveterate drinker. Never marry a man who refuses to be helped for his addiction. Ask for help from professionals and get out of the relationship. Do not enter into a co-dependent relationship in which a man would say that he needs you to stay sober. You will not be able to help him.
6. The tramp or rather The lazy.
I have a friend who, after marrying her boyfriend, discovered that he did not intend to find a stable job.He had devised a strategy: stay home all day and play video games while his professional wife worked and paid all their bills. The Apostle Paul tells the Thessalonians: "If someone does not want to work, he does not eat"(2 Thess 3:10). The same rule applies here: If a man is not willing to work, he does not deserve to marry you.
7. The narcissist
I sincerely hope that you will find a man who is beautiful, physically. But beware: if your friend spends six hours a day at the gym and regularly publishes close-ups of his biceps on Facebook, you have a problem. Do not engage with an egocentric man. He may be cute, but a man who is enamored of his appearance and his own needs will never be able to love you with sacrificial love, as Christ loves the Church (Eph 5:25). The man who is always looking for himself in the mirror will never pay attention to you.
8. The aggressor
Men with aggressive tendencies often have difficulty controlling their anger when it overflows. If the man you are dating has a tendency to get carried away, either towards you or others, do not be tempted to rationalize his behavior. He has a problem, and if you marry him you will have to navigate his minefield every day to avoid triggering a new bout of anger. Rogue men hurt women - verbally and sometimes physically. Find a man who is sweet.
9. The child-man
Call me "old-fashioned", but I'm suspicious of a man who still lives with his parents at 35 years old. If his mother is still cooking, cleaning and ironing at this age, you can be sure that he is emotionally stuck in a period that has already passed. You are in trouble if you think you can be the wife of an immature man. Take a step back and, as a friend, encourage him to find a mentor to help him become mature.
I recently wrote an article about this:Marry a Partner, Not a Child!
10. The ruler or rather the one who wants to control everything.
Some Christian men believe in the superiority of man in marriage. They can cite the scriptures and appear super-spiritual, but behind the facade of the husband's authority hides a deep insecurity and a pride that can turn into spiritual violence. In his first letter, Peter commands husbands to treat their wives as equal to themselves (1 Peter 3: 7). If the man you are dating speaks to you from above, makes derogatory comments about women, or seems to be stifling your spiritual gifts, withdraw now. He is trying to assert his power. Women who marry to religious control maniacs often end up in the nightmare of depression.
If you are a woman of God, do not sell your spiritual patrimony by marrying a man who does not deserve you. The smartest decision you can make is to wait for a man who is truly delivered to Jesus Christ.
Translated from the English by Aisha. The author of this article, J. Lee Grady is the former editor of Charisma Magazine and the current director of the Mordecai project. He is author of 4 books. Find the original version of this article here.